Saturday, August 4, 2012

Double Stitch Disorder

Tatting is great for stress, not so much for grieving... I can't seem to get anything to work and now am struggling with fourteen thumbs - on one hand!

Probably my brain is cooked from all the paperwork and meetings and so on that have become my life in the past few days -  that and being the only one to empty mum's apartment over the next three weeks, as the sibling flew the coup immediately following the funeral - leaving moi to deal. Whew - there is a lot to cope with.

This is what it's come to...
...a sorry sight I'm afraid.


I have started something new, desperate to see if I remember a thing that I have learned over the past 4 years, and hoping the bright colours will have a positive effect on my mood.


Someone else is wishing for the very same thing!

Anon.

20 comments:

  1. I can't believe you have to deal with the apartment alone! VERY stressful! And you have only three weeks? Oh, my. This has been quite a rough patch for you. I can't imagine how you can tat at all.

    Don't tell Gian but - he REALLY is spectacular! I'm always amazed how you capture these poses!

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    1. Kathy, There is nowhere to leave you an email - so I have to say it here. Thank you for your very sensitive and insightful messages. Your words have helped me cope for the past few weeks more than you know! You are amazing!
      Fox : )

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    2. p.s. Gian says he already knows he is BEYOND spectacular...yawn..... : ))

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  2. Grieving the death of a loved one is such a comlpicated process. Add to that the stress of paperwork and going through your loved ones belongings, and it's well nigh overwelming. Keep on keeping on, dear. It will get easier. Or at least more normal.

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  3. When my mother died, I couldn't bring myself to throw anything away; and then it sat boxed up for years, until a friend gave me wise advice. She said I should keep just a few special items that meant a lot, and after that I had to realise that I didn't need "things "to remind me of my mother.
    After 10 years there are still a couple of boxes unpacked, but I have whittled it down......

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  4. I've been thinking about you Fox. I can't imagine losing my mom, so I won't try to say that I understand. But, I do hope that a ladybug will cross your path soon and cheer you up a bit.

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  5. Hi Fox

    As an only child I know exactly what you are going though, I only had weeks to empty mothers bungalow when she went into the nursing home and she has never asked what I did with some of her stuff, perhaps in her mind we have all at our home I don't know, the paperwork is endless even now, I still have four carrier bags of correspondence to go though, I got all the current stuff but we had to have a break from it some of it, we got exhausted from it. My thoughts are with you and I wish I could fly over the pond and help you, I hope that you will get though this bad time and get back to your tatting.
    Love to Gian, great photo of him looking his best.
    Take care sending you a hug
    Margaret

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  6. Cut yourself some slack! The tatting will come back when you've dealt with all the things that are confronting you. Sterkte, as they say in these parts, I wish you strength.

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  7. I can't imagine doing it all alone. My sister, brother, and I spent almost a week helping Mom when Dad passed away, and it still took Mom a while to finish up the odds and ends. If I had a passport, I'd come up this week to help... honest!

    As for the tatting, my contribution is to keep it small and simple. Simply throw away the pieces that cause you stress. That's how I did it. You are in my thoughts daily, dear friend.

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  8. Diane,Jane,Margaret,Jess, Maureen, and dramaticlyric,

    Ah, my dear tatting buddies! Your words are wise indeed and comforting.

    Thanks for wading through this time with me. i feel the support of not-so-strange-strangers more than folks I actually know face-to-face. Funny how this works, but my online tatting community has once again provided the strength in adversity that I have found nowhere else.

    I am so glad you are out there. Thank you.
    Fox : ) ♥

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  9. Sorry I am not round the corner for you or I would gladly help. So instead I will send a MASSIVE HUG for you!!!

    Luv Jane XX

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  10. For heaven's sake, nobody expects brilliant tatting from you at a time like this! If you're not enjoying it right now, put it aside and deal with what you have to do, then come back to the tatting when you're ready.

    I understand about the apartment cleaning. When my grandparents went into assisted living, I did the bulk of cleaning out their house by myself, and my parents finished it up. Everybody else in the family "had to work". Really? I took vacation time for it. Did they think I wanted to? Of course I didn't, but it had to be done. It's so frustrating when nobody else will step up and do their part!

    Just do a little each day, then come home and cuddle with Gian, and it will get done.

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    1. Love your attitude, Miranda! Good advice... xxooxx Fox : )

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  11. Fox, I send you a big hug as you deal with all the official paperwork, and going through your Mother's apartment, all the while grieving her loss. I kept only a few mementos of my Mom's, and cherish them. I'm sure the tatting will be there once all the pain and frustration have lessened.Blessings

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  12. Hi, Fox,
    I totally understand what you're saying. I am an only child, and had to deal with all of that on my own, but from what I have heard from friends who have siblings this is not unusual at all. Somehow, one child becomes the responsible party. This will pass, and your tatting will be there for you. Hugs, Debra

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    1. Hi, Debra,
      You get it! Thanks for the astute comments.
      Fox : )

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  13. Dear Fox,

    It does get better, it really does...until it gets there though, whew, so much to deal with. I'm so sorry to hear you're having to do all the cleaning up work by yourself. The time limit doesn't make things any easier, you almost have to put your grieving on hold until things get taken care of. It's hard, and it hurts, and I'm so glad you have Gian to be with at the end of every day. The tatting will come back, you only have so much you can handle right now and tatting isn't it!

    Big hugs,
    Jane S.

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  14. Thanks, Jane. Gian is such a treat!
    Fox : )

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